Holding to the
Rod: How to Make it Through Church Discipline.
Note. Retrieved from, “The Pacific Crest Trail,” by
Epicc, August 29, 2015, Deposit Photos, https://depositphotos.com/82042820/stock-photo-straight-and-narrow-path.html
Straight and Narrow
I want to apologize for not being
consistent with posts as of late. Adding work, school, and some personal
things, I have not felt inclined to post. Even after asking some of you for
ideas on social media I have been at a standstill. I want this blog or podcast
to be one for edification and want to look at things with the Spirit as much as
possible. We at times may feel disconnected with God. One of the reasons for
our spiritual disconnection is sin and is what I want to talk about today in
this post. I noticed a lot of members of the Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints talking about need to repent.
In the theology of the church some sins
require going to judge in Israel which is the lay leader Bishop or Branch
President of your local ward or branch. Some of you already made that
appointment, or you are about to, or maybe know you should, but do not yet the
courage to. While I have mentioned this before, I haven’t gone into great
details about. I too went through the formal repentance process, confessed my
sins, was on formal probation for over a year, was mentored, guided,
interviewed several times, and finally was returned to full fellowship. Today I
want to share a little about what lead to that happening, how the process went,
what I learned along the way, and my advice to those doing the same.
How to Shock You Bishop or Branch President
When I
moved to my new base, I was excited for change of scenery. Not even three weeks
in on the island I made terrible choices. I had been living so spiritually
distant that my choices had no other outcomes. While I want to blame ignoring
the prompting to get a blessing, the ultimate blame is the sins that I allowed
to become daily in my life. I basically walked into the great spacious building
thinking I would feel comfort, but all I found was worse pain and misery; I
felt so far away from God.
In my mind I was mentally prepared
for excommunication, and the personal shame that that would bring. I needed to
confess to a Bishop or Branch President. I needed to start my repentance
process. Well due to moving, also an issue about what ward or branch I was in,
kept me from getting an appointment. I waited another three to four weeks. During
that time, I was in spiritual agony. That Sunday at church was the longest
service I have ever attended. Waiting for all three blocks to finish for the
meeting was excruciating.
Turning away the sacrament was
painful, trying to put up a good face to these new ward members was nearly
impossible. Finally, its time for my meeting with the Branch President. We go
through introductions, saying a short prayer, and then on to what the meeting
was for. In his mind he was expecting me to ask for a calling, If I recall
correctly, he felt that I was going to. I explained what was going on, and that
the meeting was for a confession. Well turns out it was a new thing for us
both. For me the first time I had such a serious sin, and his first-time
hearing someone confess one. Adding to the fact I was brand new to the branch
it was shocking.
Formal Probation
In my
missionary mind I had only known of excommunication. I was prepared for that
long haul of working for being baptized again. I wanted more than anything for
the pain to stop. Trying to treat depression with depressants doesn’t work out
so well. In the Church Handbook it talks about the necessity for restriction or
with drawl of membership. As members of the Church we make covenants, the more
serious the covenant the greater repentance needed. I don’t know how it will be
for your case, I don’t know the details, and I’m not your ecclesiastical
leader. My advice is to go repent straight away without hesitation. In my case
I was placed on formal probation for several reasons.
If you need
to confess your sins, I can’t say what the outcomes will be. Merely you need to
set up the meeting and get started right away. “If a member commits a serious sin,
the bishop or stake president helps him or her repent. As part of this process,
he may need to restrict some Church membership privileges for a time” (The
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 2020, para. 32.2). While this may
be scary you will feel true relief, you will gain a deeper understanding of repentance,
forgiveness, and mercy; at least I did for what I felt.
Nothing Worth While is Easy
One Sunday
about three four months into my probation, I was sitting at the end of the pew
towards the back. The families who ran late to sacrament meeting would end up
sitting next to me. This led to one confused little girl asking me why I denied
taking the sacrament. I explained politely that sometimes we must wait to take
the sacrament until we feel truly sorry for what we did. This happened very
frequently, I would say once every few months. Around December of that year I
found out I was going on a six-month deployment. Not the best thing to happen
while you’re going through repentance process that takes time.
I wasn’t
going to get my weekly text from my Branch President. I wasn’t going to get the
Sunday catch up. I wasn’t going to get the love and care from the senior
missionary couple. I wasn’t going to get the camaraderie from the YSA, which at
the time was comprised of two others and myself. It was also going to be a hard
deployment, and what we were doing was going to be hard work. Military members
tend to work hard and party harder. I knew that I would not be without
temptation. I had the option of giving up. Not continuing the probation, and
never returning to church. In fact, I’m willing to bet if there was a study
conducted of those who went through formal probation would be a few who felt
they should give up.
Swallowing Pride
As someone
who taught, mentored, and aided people to baptism, it was hard to swallow my
pride. If Jesus Christ was the last and eternal sacrifice through which whom
all powers of the atonement flow. Why do we need to go to a priesthood leader?
Why can’t I just pray for forgiveness, and ask to be forgiven of my sins? A
couple reasons are that the priesthood leaders are set apart and blessed to
help lead people, they hold priesthood keys, and ultimately need to seek
guidance on how to help each person go through repentance (The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints, 2020, para. 32.3).
I really
did feel cared for and looked after by the branch president. I didn’t feel
burden by all my mistakes, I had a fellow disciple’s of Christ walking with me.
“The purpose of confession is to encourage
members to unburden themselves so they can fully seek the Lord’s help in
changing and healing. Developing a “broken heart and a contrite spirit” is
aided by confession (2 Nephi 2:7). Voluntary confession shows that a person desires to repent”
(The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 2020, para. 32.4.1).
Why Would I Read That? Aside from my daily
scripture habits I was redeveloping. I was also given additional books to read.
One of which was the Miracle of Forgiveness. At first, I
was upset that I had to read it, I knew that they were going to ask me to. Yet
I bit my tongue and read it anyway. While it was not what I had heard, nor was
it what I envisioned I still gained a lot. What it led to was me searching out
on my own good books, and of those one of which was the Infinite Atonement. Which
I highly recommend for everyone to read at least once. A phrase that comes to
mind is, “trust the process,” really dig into this time of spiritual healing.
Think of it like a spiritual deep clean, of your physical and spiritual being.
Dating
This
section is direct to the single members of the Church who are single during
their probationary period.
Along the
way there was a meeting with the branch president. The topic came up of me
dating again, and why I hadn’t found a righteous woman to date. I’ll discuss
this in another post, but military wards YSA are very different. There are some
rules that men and women in the armed services must follow regarding peer to
peer relationships. This made the social bubble very small to absolutely
nothing for dating prospects. Something that I noticed is that some women of
the church treated me differently. Being honest I was open about being on
formal probation. Then would mention that I had [however long of time] until my
counsel meeting to review my status.
My advice
is following what your local leaders’ instructions are in the matter. It may be
a little hypocritical of me to state this, but I felt that I should have waited
until I was once again in full standing as member. During my time in probation
I did meet a wonderful woman who would become my wife. I had a lot going on,
and in hindsight I should have waited. Not that I regret marrying my wife, but
there were some hiccups along the way. I do attribute making it to that final
meeting on my probationary statues all too my wonderful wife; I learned what a
help meet is.
Why I think you should wait is to
me when I thought about in retrospect, it’s like trying to run again while
mending a broke leg. It takes time spiritually to heal, and you may end up hurt
again if you are not cautious in the healing process. That aside stick to my
first piece of advice, talk with your ecclesiastical leader about this, and
prayerfully consider if its something you should do.
Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires
While
I could go on about this in a detail. I feel this is best read through a
previous post titled Personal Manifestation and Guarding Against Falling
Away. When we sin, there are many factors that go into why we sinned in the
first place. The best way to prevent sin is to mitigate them. Think of it like
preventing a forest fire. You need to be cautious, and careful to not cause a
spiritual forest fire. This spiritual forest fire could be attributed to
selfishness. When we feed selfishness, we are feeding the natural man, and when
we feed the natural man, we starve our spirit.
While there
many factors behind why there are forest fires it comes down to is there a fuel
source, is there a starter, and is there oxygen. The best way to prevent that
is to eliminate one of the three chains that lead to a fire. In this case a
spiritual forest fire caused by sin. Be sure to do all that you can to remove
all things that may lead you back. Sometimes it means we don’t associate with
places, people, or things anymore. Additionally, we need to exercise righteous judgement
and remove the “dry brush, weeds, and overgrowth,” which may dry out and become
a destroying spiritual fire.
The
Good Ole Day. In another post I talked about how we can become
hyper focused during repentance on where we used to be, how we used to be, etc.
I may be biased, but again I would recommend reading that post in full. To
concisely restate what that went over doesn’t do it as much justice. The idea
is we may be sucked into reminiscing about the gold ole days before X,Y, and Z
happened. I argue in that previous post, that who we were then will not do us
any good now. While we may think we were in our spiritual prime, something
along the way built up, that dry under brush, and a spiritual forest fire broke
out.
Idhina
For
anyone who as spent time in studying the Abrahamic religions you should have
come across the phrase the Strait and Narrow. Prophets have used the term
“straight and narrow” to describe the “ strict path to God” (Mckinlay, 2011,
para. 3). For those who can image a straight and narrow path it provides a
powerful image. It’s easy to see that a straight and narrow path is an easily
traveled path. Someone has gone before and cleared the way making it easier for
a journey. The dangerous parts have been marked, the stumbling blocks have been
paved, and now we simply need to continue in our journey.
While it
may seem lonely, the reward is more exquisite than you can imagine. Learning to
rely on the merits, mercy, and grace of Jesus Christ, and the plan given to us
by our Heavenly Father will aide us along the way. Learning to be unselfish is
a task in and of itself regardless your standing in the church. Joseph Smith
Junior said that we need to annihilate selfishness, as it leads to
un-Christ-like behaviors (Maxwell, 1999). Charity is the love Christ, and a
side of effect of it is helping others. “Guide us to the Straight Way” (Surah
Al Fatiha 1:6). For those of the Islamic faith the straight and narrow is
conceptual idea recited every single day. Rahman (2016) notes that apart of the
mandatory 5 daily prayers the word Ihdina (meaning guide us) is said “at
least seventeen times a day” (para. 1).
I really
wished there was a fellow brother in Christ who called me out sooner. Just like
that park ranger noticing the tender bush building up in a forest we can see similar
signs in others. I’m not saying we should go fire and brimstone and claim fiery
damnation upon on those around us. We should if we feel prompted to have a
meaningful conversation with that individual. “How are you doing [Brother or
Sister], I noticed you don’t seem quite the same?” I can say personally for me
there were times I showed up to church smelling like bar; no matter how well I
showered.
Roads Less Travelled.
While I personally
enjoy these for sightseeing, I don’t think our spiritual journey should be the
same. A straight and narrow path is an easily traveled one. For those who have
faith that Jesus of Nazareth is the Christ, that he atoned for our sins, and by
so doing offers us divine mercy and forgiveness of our sins. Theological we
need to rely on the merits, mercy, and grace of our Lord, while no man can
offer us forgiveness. Those who we believe hold priesthood keys are there to
provide spiritual guidance to get back on the straight and narrow. I mentioned
how it was difficult to swallow my pride and go confess my sins. When I was
finally honest with myself, I felt relief along the way. Repentance is a hard
task, and we may be inclined to give up. Relief from a loving God is available,
a balm of the soul as testified by the prophets.
While I personally advise against
dating until you are back in full fellowship. You should speak with your ecclesiastical
leader about this. To prevent another spiritual forest fire, we should remove
things that would allow for this to occur again from our lives. I mentioned how
its tempting to think of a time in our lives we felt we were pristine, but that
as mentioned in a previous post that’s just an illusion; we are continually
enduring to the end. Finally, I reminisced about how I wished somebody was
brave enough to calm me out on some obvious sinning on my part. Maybe I wouldn’t
have gotten to that point to where I was so willing to sin that I would eventually
be on probation?
It requires spiritual tact on our part
and listening for God will on the matter. Someone may very well be waiting,
like I was, for someone to call them out. While I may right now be going
through some personal turbulence, I felt that some of you might gain something
from my experiences. If you did than I pray for you on your spiritual journey
that you may feel the endless mercy of a powerful and loving God. I pray we all
may find ourselves before the Throne of God singing praises of worship.
References
Eppic (2015,
August 29). Pacific Crest Trail. Deposit Photos. https://depositphotos.com/82042820/stock-photo-straight-and-narrow-path.html
Maxwell, N.A.
(1999, May). “Repent of [Our Selfishness]|” (D&C 56:8). The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1999/05/repent-of-our-selfishness-d-and-c-56-8?lang=eng
Mckinlay, D.B.
(2011, May 27). Straight and narrow. Brigham Young University. https://eom.byu.edu/index.php/Strait_and_Narrow
Rahman, S. (2016,
April 6). Why we plead “guide us to the straight path.” IslamiCity. https://www.islamicity.org/5049/why-we-plead-guide-us-to-the-straight-path/
