Introduction – Waiting on the Voice of the Lord.
This week since the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints announced a special message from the Prophet, I had been pondering on
what words the Lord had intended us to hear. If you have yet to listen to it go
ahead, listen to it then come back to this post; as it was the inspiration of
the blog post today (Nelson, 2020). I could write how the progressive members
of the church are being ridiculous, or how there on reddit the excommunicated
members are rallying to high jack the #GiveThanks; I think that would mis the
mark for now, and detract from the import of the message of gratitude. I would
like to talk on what I felt, the memories I recalled, and the spiritual
prompting. This morning as I woke up, I saw the video had been posted. After
all week seeing the Church’s YouTube Premiere I had to listen immediately.
I will not to speak on the contents of the message that
President Nelson (2020) gave, rather on what I felt as mentioned in the
introduction. I was quite shocked when listening to the message of the memories
being recalled into my mind. I was sort of aghast as to what their purpose was,
or how my neurons fired up those mental movies. Why would I be aghast you might
ask? Well the memories I had weren’t pleasant experiences in my life but did
show me the mighty Hand of the Lord in my life. What I went through wasn’t fun,
but what I got on the back end was immeasurable.
Feeling Lost
I came home from my mission in 2012 and was sort of lost on
where I needed to go. All the things I was so sure, or set on doing when I got
home, sort of all felt wrong to me. I went to speak to Brigham Young University
(BYU) Department Head of Linguistics, as that was something, I felt I should
do; courtesy of my Mission President, I got a one on one meeting, as well tour
of BYU. All the sureness I had before suddenly vanished I felt confused. Long
story short is I ended up enlisting in the United States Military. I call this
Mission to Military (M&M), as some others I have met did the same.
Now, I could also talk to this as well, which I had a Parler
post on couple short hot takes of being a member of the church and the unique
challenges of serving, but that would digress in this post. Here I am a fresh
M&M in the military. There are a lot of similarities between mission and
military life. The difference is the in the mission there isn’t peer pressure
to break the commandments; rather the opposite of that. I slowly started giving
into temptations, and soon I was not even wearing the garments anymore. I had
abandoned the Iron Rod for the great and spacious building. Soon my best
company was misery, guilt, and anger, which I treated with worldly means.
I ended up on a temporary duty at a different base from where
I was stations. As hard as the work was there, there was an equal amount of
partying. Nearly 4.5 months into our 6-month assignment, I had been feeling
terrible. I felt guilty for not holding true and going to BYU as I had
previously prayed about. I felt I had rejected god so completely; I felt that I
was forever lost as I had given into to a great many temptations. I secretly
prayed for some sort of salvation from my personal torment. One day after work,
on a Friday, we had stopped by at the Class 6 (refers to the liquor license,
and is also a convenient store), I had every intention of getting a large
selection of alcohol for a long night of partying. On running into the store, I
ran by this little girl wearing a cheer leader costume that was bright blue,
with a large letter “Y” on the front.
Something from the dark recesses of my mind recalled Y is
equal to BYU, so there was a faithful family somewhere in the parking lot or
under the gas station overhang. I saw where the family was running, up to the
van to speak with them. “Is that your daughter wearing a cheerleader outfit?” The
mother looked very shocked, with hints of concern, and she said, “Yes, that’s
my daughter, can I help you with something?” I said, “Ma’am, I’m a lost member
of the church, and I would like to start going back to church. I saw you
daughter wearing the BYU cheerleading outfit, and thought nothing of it, since
the Dallas Cheerleaders are touring with the USO. It clicked what significance
that was to me, and I stopped trying to by alcohol to go find fellow saints.”
I ended up going back to church, but there wasn’t real
repentance yet. Trying to live in the great spacious building, where there is
“fun” to be had, isn’t doable in living the gospel. My heart was in the right
place, but my mind wasn’t so the repentance was significant. I was grateful
though that even as low as I had gone, the Lord was there trying to get me back
on course. Well some nay-sayers would say that was happen stance, coincidence,
meaningless, non-significant event, and something I was trying to put value
into when there wasn’t any. Well true on some level I think so, sure that could
be equally valid. When you find out though that there was some confusion, the
family had made plans, but the mom forgot to fill up to get gas earlier in the
day; she shouldn’t have been at the gas station at that time if she hadn’t
forgotten to get gas. On top of how I felt finding them, I can’t write this off
as something like the Secret. The Lord was there, with a hand outstretched to
me, even in my darkest moments.
Learning Repentance and Meaning of Gratitude
I recalled that time with how I felt, the gratitude in my
heart, the sigh of relief of seeing the fellow saints, a brief flicker of light
in a darkened building. Learning to be grateful for even the hard days, can do
wonders in your life. When I started to come back to the church, I was learning
some real repentance, not a rot “I’m sorry,” but rather feeling godly sorrow.
Gratitude was crucial in my repentance process. Brown & Wong (2017) noted
that in several studies that people that expressed gratitude where happier, and
less likely to be depressed (para. 2).
What was found is that there are four major impacts of
gratitude, 1) we break free of toxic emotions, 2) expressing gratitude to
others helps, 3) the net benefits of gratitude take time, 4) under MRI scans
feelings of gratitude had profound effects on the individuals brain state
(Brown & Wong, 2017). As personal exercise think of those in your immediate
family, or close friends/acquaintances, you probably already notice a ranking
of who has an attitude of gratitude. Or maybe you yourself have experienced
this personally in your life. Have there been situation which you handled
better then others, because only thing did was being more grateful of your
situation.
Gratitude and the Atonement
“My car broke down, but this week is still good,” “While I
found out he/she was sick, I’m glad we still have time with them,” “I can barely
make ends meet, but I have food as well shelter,” etc., this list could go on
and on. So how exactly does gratitude have healing effects, and what role does
it play in the atonement? In my opinion, use of the miracle of the atonement of
Jesus Christ, is useless on the individual unless they can express gratitude.
Then doing so they have full access to the cleansing power of the atonement. A
prideful person would not be one to express gratitude. How can they apply the
healing balm of the savior if there isn’t an ounce of gratitude?
This isn’t to take away from the atonement, nor to pretend
Christ grace isn’t important. Let’s remind ourselves really quick on grace, “we
know that is by grace that we are exhalted, after all we can do” (2
Nephi 25:23). As we open ourselves up to the cleansing power of the atonement,
we should be experiencing, as well expressing gratitude as Nephi said, “after
all we can” so would not gratitude be included in all we can do? Gratitude will
lead us to act more on the availability of the atonement. We realize what we
have as well what we lack, and our pride is set aside knowing that what we have
is enough. Service to your fellow man is an outward demonstration of gratitude.
You in most cases are giving your time to assist, help, serve, and care, with
whatever it may be.
Think of it this way, in ancient times, the Lord had asked
for actual sacrifice of his people, offering up the firstborn animals to the
holy alter. Imagine if you only had one firstborn animal, would you be willing
to give it up; knowing all the great blessings you have in your life? “And he
who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the
things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more”
(Doctrine and Covenants, 78:19). A Lutheran preacher Grabenhofer (2015) said
the following:
Our life of repentance—that is,
sorrow over sin and faith in Christ for forgiveness of that sin—is the fountain
of our thanksgiving, a mark/ characteristic of a Christian. Really, true
thankfulness can only flow from the fountain of repentance because if we are
still in our sin, under God’s wrath, with only eternal damnation in hell
awaiting us—could we really be thankful to God even just for the earthly
blessings we enjoy? (para. 14).
While the theology of the Lutheran’s
quite different from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints there is a
gem to be had with the previous sermon. While that sermon was full of fire and brimstone,
we should be reminded that unless we receive exaltation are we not damned? When
I finally repented of my many great sins, and worked through the repentance process,
I found that gratitude was the key that opened the door to repentance. As great
as the temptation to wallow in sin, and the misery it brings, it wouldn’t lead
me, or you, anywhere closer to Christ. Acknowledging the grandeur that is the
infinite atonement, we see how thankful we ought to always be. As the Psalmist
said, “offer unto the lord with thanksgiving” (Psalms 147:7).
If you have a testimony of gratitude, and the role it plays
in the atonement, please share that if you feel so inclined!
References
Brown, J., Wong,
J. (2017, June 6). How gratitude changes you and your brain. Berkeley,
Greater Good Magazine. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_gratitude_changes_you_and_your_brain
Grabenhofer, G.
(2015, September 6). A life of repentance is fountain of thanksgiving. Faith
Lutheran Church. https://www.faithlutherancorning.org/sermons/sermon/2015-09-06/a-life-of-repentance-is-a-fountain-of-thanksgiving
Nelson, R.M.
(2020, November 21). President Russell M. Nelson on the healing power of
gratitude. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. https://youtu.be/i51gcWCs-Ho
I loved this reflection ♡
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